With Purpose Success, part 58

It may seem a stretch to devote a chapter to new relationships in a book about moving from material success to personal significance. But finding purpose in one's adult years is about many things-finding the job or pursuit of your dreams, replanting your time and money-and also developing the richest and most meaningful connections of your life, and through that support network reaching for your full potential. 

Augie's Quest 

Let me return now to the story of Augie Nieto. He found his purpose in life when there wasn't much time left for him to pursue it. But that's not all he found. With his days running short, he thought deeply about what matters most-and through his reflections gained a high degree of wisdom about many things. I was especially taken by his life-as-amarathon metaphor. Nieto had been an avid runner before his illness; he competed in twenty-one marathons in all. He knew what he was talking about. His observation that in life, as in a long foot race, you speed up when you see the finish line is one of the most important things I've ever heard. 

Am I making too much of his observation? I don't think so. As I've said, most people live their life like a climb up a mountain: The way up is exhilarating; the way down-the back side of life-is a long period of retreat and withdrawal. Nieto's vision is so much more hopeful. It holds the promise of ramping up your ambitions and contributions later in life, not withdrawing, and through a kind of existential time warp actually doing-and becoming-more as you get older, and in far less time. 

Knowing his days are numbered has given Nieto renewed momentum and changed his path. "I redefined normal," he told me. As he went from 

Ferrari to wheelchair, athleticism to near total paralysis, he clarified and accelerated his goals; he wiped away trivialities and focused on what was important to him and brought meaning to his life. "I didn't mourn what 

I couldn't do; I celebrated what I could do."

His quest for an ALS cure was just one of those things, and there he's already established a powerful global legacy. With his business savvy and turbo-charged fund-raising, Nieto has expedited potential breakthroughs for many years to come. His ultimate legacy in this area may well be having established a model for networked collaboration and funding of scientific research that will be duplicated in the quest for many other cures. 

But along with his drive to make a difference in the world of science and medicine, he came to focus on something more personal-his connections to other people and especially with his wife Lynn. A strapping former football player and inventive and charismatic marketer, Nieto had always derived a large portion of his self-worth from being physically fit, charming, handsome, smart, savvy, and able to provide his family with a comfortable lifestyle. Without those attributes, he believed, he would be nothing; he would cease to be important even to the people around him every day. "I wondered 'Why me? What did I do to deserve this?' " Nieto recalled thinking after being diagnosed with ALS. His self-esteem devolved into self-pity, and he fell into despair and then one day purposely took an overdose of his medication.