With Purpose Success, part 49

Answer each question like this: 1, strongly agree; 2, agree; 3, neu tral; 4, disagree; and 5, strongly disagree: __In this complicated world, the only way I can know what's going on is to rely on trusted leaders and experts. __I am annoyed by unhappy people who feel sorry for themselves. __There are some people I know I would never like. __Things often go wrong for me by no fault of my own. __It is better not to know too much about things that can't be changed. 

Now answer each of these questions like this: 1, not true of myself; 2, rarely true of myself; 3, about halfway true; 4, mostly true of myself; and 5, definitely true of myself. __I try to look at everybody's side of a disagreement before I make a decision. __When I'm upset with someone I usually try to put myself in his or her shoes. __When I am confused by a problem, the first thing I do is consider all the pieces of information. __Before criticizing someone I imagine how I would feel in their place. __If I see people in need I always try to help them in one way or another. __Your wisdom total. 

There's a certain pattern to the "wisest" answers. If you figured it out and worry that you didn't answer each question completely honestly, you might want to take the more difficult, extended version online. It can be found at www.nytimes.com/ref/magazine/20070430_WISDOM. html?_r=1&oref=slogin. But if you're satisfied with your answers, simply add your scores and then divide by 10. Most people end up between 3 and 4. If you scored higher than 4 you are relatively wise; if you scored lower than 3 you are-well, let's just say that you may need a more considered point of view. 

With age-related wisdom most of us come to understand that you are best served by turning your energy toward positive pursuits. Here's three steps that will help you focus on your new dreams: 

Get rid of unnecessary baggage. Too much weight slows you down, both literally and metaphorically. You will never see an overweight Olympic sprinter; she wouldn't have a chance. She'd have to go on a diet and shed the extra pounds-the baggage-to get back on her game. The same is true of someone who has, say, gone through a bitter breakup. Carrying the scars of a failed union into the next relationship can undermine it from the start. You must come to grips with the previous loss-shed the guilt, blame, and resentment-before you can find happiness or discover your new purpose. The chronically ill face a similar challenge. Therapists tell them they must accept their condition and lose the anger and frustration before they can move on and live their best life possible. They must adjust to their new reality and redefine their goals within the framework of what is possible.